Hi everybody! I wanted to share a little bit with you about some upcoming changes that are happening in my business and in my life.
Like many of you, I’m experiencing ZOOM “fatigue” and am continuously finding ways to cope with this.
I realized the other day that I spent 75% of my waking hours engaged in some kind of screen activity or another. And it’s taking its toll in many ways.
Yet, because virtual contact is the safest way to connect with others these days and because I firmly believe that “some” contact being better than “no” contact, I remain fully committed to finding ways to stay engaged virtually with others.
If my options are “disconnection and isolation” versus “virtual connection and contact”, I’ll stay connected virtually over feeling isolated.
What some of you might find interesting is that even though I am an introvert and love my alone time to recharge, I am also a feeler and get energized by deep and meaningful connection with others.
So, I am finding that since my reserves run out more quickly due to all the computer and screen time and virtual connecting with others, I don’t have as much left over when my days are done.
The one thing that this pandemic and all my “Zoom fatigue” has caused me to do is to reflect more deeply on where I am putting my time and energy so as to be more intentional with my efforts.
And what I have remembered about myself is that I want to “do less” while “showing up more”.
So, what does this mean?
First of all, I’m going to be sending out less emails. You might get an occasional email here or there from me when something really juicy needs to be shared, but overall, I’m going to roll back the amount of emails to once or twice a month.
As far as my social media posts and efforts, I’m going to reduce the number of platforms that I post to and again, follow the “less is more” equation. I’ll still do videos and Facebook lives, but the frequency is going to change.
For the meantime though, I’m going to close all my Facebook groups and just focus on my business page and email list until I get more clear on how I want to move forward with a facebook group down the road.
My Facebook business page is where I’ll post videos and Facebook “lives” and such, just so you know.
Less is more you know?
Two and a half years ago, I dove into the “online” swimming pool and began to build an online presence.
The promise that I made to myself two and a half years ago was that I would dive whole heartedly in these efforts, learn what I could, experience what opportunities came my way and experiment with building an online presence to see what I could learn in order to help me get more clear about how to move forward.
Go all in. 150%.
And then when my time was up, I’d pull back, re-evaluate and reflect on these experiences and use them to guide me in my next steps.
And that time is now.
I’m excited to change some things up and refocus on what feels really important and essential right now: supporting myself and others through my work that I do in my therapy practice and business.
In order to provide the level of care and fidelity that I want to bring to my work, I’m going to do less so that I can show up more.
That said, I’m not disappearing entirely from the online scene.
I’ll be around, just in a more refined, substantial and clear way.
In the meantime, in order to not miss out on any of the really “good stuff”, you’ll want to make sure that you’ve “liked” and follow my Facebook business page.
I also encourage you to sign up for my email newsletter if you haven’t yet.
This will ensure that you stay informed about any upcoming events, programs, offerings or free supports that I continue to create and share.
To sign up, you’ll have to go to my website, scroll to the bottom of the page and enter your email to sign up if you haven’t yet.
Bottom line is, what I really hope that you take away from this today is how much I really appreciate each and every one of you.
YOU are what makes this community great.
I appreciate all the participation in my Facebook groups and my virtual summits, reading my newsletter and responding. I just love all the personal comments I get back from you all in my email. A big thanks to those of you who read and share my, blog posts, emails and so on.
I plan to continue to do these things, just in a much more scaled back and focused approach. Less is more.
I’m focused on scaling back what I do so I can be more present in what I choose to do.
So, stay tuned. There's lots more to come.
Stay safe and be well.
I don’t know about you, but these days, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. There are just so many things going on in the world, responsibilities, tasks, it sometimes feels like it’s impossible to keep up.
And that makes me want to just unplug and take some time for myself.
Many people feel guilty for focusing on themselves and not taking care of everyone else’s responsibilities/needs.
Ever wonder why this happens?
You tend to feel guilty for taking breaks if you’re burned out. And most people get burned out because there is something about being busy, too busy in fact, that actually serves an important, albeit unconscious, purpose in their lives.
The constant feeling of stress and feeling like you can’t catch up can make you feel like there’s something you should be doing, instead of taking a break.
And guess what this does…? It distracts you from having to feel something more uncomfortable that is requiring your attention deep down inside of you.
It’s true. Keeping busy, especially when the busy-ness is having a deleterious effect on you is always about staying away from having to deal with some underlying issues demanding your attention.
The work will always be there. It’s not going anywhere. Not balancing rest with work absolutely hurts you in the long run. So take breaks!!
And how do you avoid that feeling of guilt for taking a break or taking some time off?
Deal with your underlying issues causing you to stay so busy all the time. And since these underlying issues reside in a place where there are no words, you’re going to need some help accessing them.
Talking about your problems is radically different than actually accessing them, dealing with them and clearing them out.
Oh, and while I have you, taking care of your mind and body is so incredibly important during these stressful times. So here are some free resources I’ve created just for you!
Get ahead of the upcoming flu season and download my free guided imagery, Boosting Your Immune System! It’s a powerful tool to help create safety and protection on a cellular and molecular level from any viruses, illness, or toxins. And it’s incredibly relaxing.
Or if visual journaling is your thing, check out my free resource, Scribble Your Way to Sanity, an interactive and experiential livestream designed to help you make sense of all the emotional and mental mayhem currently going on in the world.
Either way, take care of yourself during this time, and DO NOT feel bad about doing so.
So…I'm not usually the kind of person that sends out emails to promote programs or services from others. It's not that there aren't some incredible resources out there, it's just that I'm not interested in selling anything to anyone.
That said, I couldn't resist sending this email out about a program that I personally have participated in multiple times and can get 100% behind to support.
Especially these days.
It is incredibly important, now more than ever, to take care of your mental and physical health. Did you know that these things are not mutually exclusive?!?!?!?
These days it may seem like it’s difficult to manage keeping both in check, but boosting your physical immunity is essential step in taking care of your mental and emotional health.
Whether you approach wellness from a physical standpoint or from a mental or emotional perspective, both avenues are portals to deeper emotional healing.
One of the easiest ways to support your physical immunity is putting some time and attention towards how you fuel your body. (Yea, I’ve been doing the *pandemic eating* too…)
To that end, my friends Tess Masters (The Blender Girl) and Karen Kipp (The Juice Goddess) have the most amazing 14-day cleanse that they lead four times a year, and the next live group starts soon on November 6th.
Forget what you’ve heard about “cleanses”. You will not be doing anything extreme, like starving yourself with wilted lettuce leaves and food that tastes like wet cardboard, and being hungry all the time. And you also don’t need to purchase any expensive supplements!
The Decadent Detox is very different. This cleanse is gentle and super effective to help improve digestion, get better sleep, gain more energy, and lose weight.
And here's the best part: this 14-day cleanse is a LIVE-guided program.
So, Tess and Karen participate in the cleanse with you (and the other participants) around the world in real time. So, essentially, you have two personal health coaches available to you for two weeks!
For those of you who don’t know this about me, my background before mental health, was in physical education and nutrition.
I’ve seen a lot of health and nutrition programs, and let me say that the quality of this program is unparalleled: the quality of the recipes, the health information, and the support.
They pour time, energy and attention into every single person with such a high level of knowledge, care, and enthusiasm. That is the secret sauce, and why people get such amazing results.
I LOVED doing this program. In fact I love it so much I’ve done it six times now over the past couple of years!!! You can check out exactly what is included in the 14-Day Cleanse here! Take a peek, you won’t regret it.
When you take care of your body, you are taking care of our emotional well-being as well. Your body is our truest source of information about your feelings and if your body is trying to tell you something, listen and take action to address it.
Don’t miss out on this opportunity to get healthy and end this crazy year on a strong note. I want to see each and every one of you living your best, healthy, strong life!
Being a business owner and working for yourself seems to be a hot topic in 2020. In the age of social media, most of what you see is a highlight reel, not the whole picture.
People don’t share their lows or their worst days on social media, and it creates a false perception that their lives are perfect.
As a business owner myself, I can tell you that’s just not the reality. It’s not the reality for any regular person, but as a business owner, there is a lot that is left off of social media.
Now, I am in no way discouraging you from becoming a business owner or working for yourself - it’s talked up so much for a reason! But it’s better to be aware of some of the struggles you may face ahead of time, so you can be prepared and have an easier time overcoming them.
I mean, that’s really what my Facebook community - The Rite Type Coaching Group is all about, business owners helping each other out. We’d love it if you joined!
You may go on Instagram and see tons of people working for themselves, living their best life, at least that is how it’s portrayed on social media. But that didn’t exactly happen overnight.
Working for yourself often means starting from scratch, and building from the ground up, which can sometimes take a long time before it becomes profitable.
One of the greatest things about working for yourself means unlimited vacation and flexible working hours! But sometimes, that means that the balance of work and life becomes very blurred and hard to gauge.
Sure, you can take a week off whenever you like, but if you’re running the entire business by yourself that means you may need to work double hours the week before or after, just to keep things running.
Flexible working hours are great for if you’re the kind of person who likes to work in blocks of time, take a break, and continue working. Keep in mind though, that the “working hours” definition gets kind of messy, and you may find yourself working at odd hours that you normally wouldn’t.
Again, I don’t want to discourage you from starting a business or working for yourself; it absolutely comes with many benefits. However, like anything else, it also comes with challenges, and it’s always helpful to start something knowing those challenges upfront.
And even if you have faced some of these challenges already, just know that success is not possible without some sort of growth opportunity. Trust me though, it will all be worth it in the end!
These days it seems like the week days and weekends are just blurring together.
Remember way back when, we used to be able to take a spontaneous trip if we wanted to...?
For me, one of the hardest parts of the pandemic situation is that you can’t really plan very far into the future because well, we don’t know what the future will be like. So, it’s sometimes hard to find things to look forward to in the same way that it used to be.
I mean, geez...the past 7 months have kind of blended together.
I have a few tips to make your weeks exciting again and feel a tiny bit of “normal”.
Hopefully these tips will help make the days seem more “normal” and not blend into each other so easily. And you don’t have to make big life changes all at once! Even introducing just one good habit, and slowly introducing more, will make a world of a difference.
Seven months into the pandemic and with no end in sight, many people have been feeling a sense of unease and upset that goes beyond anxiety or distress. For many, it's a nameless feeling that somehow makes it hard to go on with even the enjoyable things you regularly do.
And seems to be there constantly these days, no matter what you do or how you support yourself. There’s a deep sense of feeling lost and disoriented that is plaguing many people these days.
What you are experiencing right now is ancient. It’s called “acedia” and is linked back to Medieval monks who were plagued with this listlessness too.
Acedia is the sense of no longer caring about caring, not because one has become apathetic, but because somehow the whole process of caring becomes blocked and all jammed up.
On the face of it, you quite likely care very much about the health risks to those you know and even those you don't know. Alongside this, though, is a sense of dislocation, an anchorless-ness that somehow interferes with how you care.
Think about it this way...
If you’re like the rest of humanity, everyone assumes that there will be a future world that survives your particular lifetime, a world inhabited by people similar to you, including some who are related to you or perhaps even known to you.
We probably even have envisioned it somewhere deep inside, even though we’re not conscious this has happened.
Though you rarely pay attention to this deep assumption or even acknowledge it, this presumed future world is the horizon, or the anchor, towards which everything you do in the present is oriented.
Philosophers have studied how losing one’s horizon (the future how we thought would exist) impacts one’s day to day activities. And what they found was that the things that you value start to lose their value.
Your sense of why things matter today is built on the presumption that they will continue to matter in the future, even when you, yourself, is no longer around to value them. Your present relations to people and things are, in this deep way, future-oriented.
So, given that most of us have lost our sense of what the future will look like, this sense of dislocation, melancholy and listlessness makes sense then in this current Covid-19 reality.
The origins, then of our current, dislocation and listlessness is not the literal loss of a future but a more subtle and unconscious disruption in pretty much every future frame of reference on which just going on in the present relies.
“Moving around” is what we do as humans and for that we need horizons. Covid has erased many of the spatial and temporal horizons we rely on, even if we don't notice them consciously very often.
So, if you’re one of those people feeling listless and having a hard time accomplishing anything much, you make sense. There’s a very good reason why this is happening.
Naming this malaise may seem more trouble than it's worth, but actually, the opposite is true. When we name something we replace ambiguity with form and structure. We suddenly make the invisible, visible. This is powerful.
What these religious philosophers also discovered about the ancient acedia experience by the Medieval monks was that struggling through it in isolation aggravated the experience ten-fold.
Isolation makes everything worse. It still does today.
I get it: connection is changed too. It’s not possible to be in person with others in the same ways that we took for granted pre-pandemic. I, too, am exhausted and getting burnt out from the day to day ongoing connection through a computer screen, over a telephone line or through texting or chat messaging.
And yet folks, this is reality now.
If connection via a screen is all we have right now, then we have to begin having “real” connection, real conversations about the things that are truly happening all around us. This is what’s going to reduce your sense of feeling lost and anchorless.
Once you’ve done that, you’ll begin to recognize our current experience of acedia is a problem we need to tackle together -- across political and cultural lines -- as families, communities, nations and a global humanity.
Which means doing so in acceptance of our shared vulnerability, finding ways to connect with each other and weather this storm in real and authentic connection, rather than suffering each on our own.
I’m going to let you in on my #1 trick for managing stress during these highly stressful times…
Ready for it?
Turn off your phone. Get outside. Stop doing anything except for what you want to be doing.
I know, crazy right? I don’t just lock my phone and put it in another room or put it on “Do Not Disturb”, I literally turn it off for 1 hour. (Or more sometimes!)
Let me explain why.
Technology has advanced exponentially in such a short amount of time, which has been wonderful, and given us so many avenues of communication, 24/7. However, this can get distracting and even intrusive at times.
Turning off my phone even for just 1 hour per day allows me to have a true separation from notifications, social media, emails, etc. rather than trying to take a break, and seeing the notifications pile up.
Now, I know what you may be thinking: Are you crazy!?
You may think that by literally turning your phone off, people won’t be able to reach you, you may miss something important, etc.
But let me just remind you: it’s just for 1 hour.
Especially when you are feeling stressed, that 1 hour can make such a difference.
If there is a true emergency, there are still other ways of reaching me, but for the most part - most things can wait 1 hour. And I can’t tell you the relief I felt when I went to habitually check my phone, and it was a black screen.
I could even feel the relief as a physical experience in my body: my shoulders and stomach relaxed and I could breathe more easily.
The dilemma with our phones is that, especially if you work from home, even when you try to take a break by taking a walk, you may be using your phone to listen to music or a podcast.
But that means that your phone has to be on, and even if you have some notifications on “Do Not Disturb”, the little red number on the app still adds up.
This is soooooooo anxiety inducing, knowing that while you’re on your break, the work is still piling up.
Kinda undermines the whole intention of a break if you think about it.
Turning off your phone - completely off - for just 1 hour per day can help you get the relaxation that you truly need.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes for you. I just love experimenting like this!
Right now, self-compassion is more important than ever. The truth is, even if you don’t know anyone personally who has been affected by COVID-19 or many of the other global issues going on right now, you’ve had to adapt to a completely new lifestyle.
I really dislike the notion of, “Well, I don’t have it as bad as ____”.
Just because the worst possible thing is not happening to you doesn’t mean you aren’t experiencing a difficult time.
It might even be that your difficulty is completely unrelated to the pandemic, and that is okay.
If one of your closest friends was feeling down on themselves, and feeling guilty for not being as productive as they could have been, how would you react?
You’d probably say something like...
“It’s okay, we are all facing something completely unprecedented right now, no one is expecting you to be operating at 100%, that’s just unrealistic.”
Why wouldn’t you extend yourself the same kindness?
Self-care doesn’t always have to be bubble baths, music, and candles.
Sometimes self-care is as simple as treating yourself like you would a friend.
It can be very difficult to make this mindset shift, however, it is one of the most useful techniques in self-compassion.
Next time you’re feeling disappointed in yourself for not finishing something, or just feeling exhausted from everything, imagine a close friend is in the exact situation.
What would you say to them?
It’s really not fair to yourself if you treat everyone in your life - friends, family, strangers even - with kindness and compassion and don’t treat yourself the same way.
Even if it may seem obvious, sometimes you can get a little lost or stray from this habit, (I know I’ve been there!).
And sometimes all you need is a little reminder to be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.
These days, when every day seems to feel the same, it can be easy to yearn for something more.
It’s human, it’s natural, it’s 100% okay to need a change of scenery.
Whether you're “something more” is a fun day trip outside of the city, a picnic in the park, or just a movie night at home, it’s something to look forward to.
I don’t know about you, but I always find myself trying to “get ahead” in order to be more productive, so I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself.
The reason why this can be so difficult is because, as an entrepreneur, business owner, and everything else alike, we don’t have a 9-5. We work when we want to, which can be an amazing benefit, but also be difficult to navigate with the work-life balance.
I wake up, I make a to-do list, cross things off, then what? I think, “Hmm...is there anything else I could do? Is there anything I could do to get ahead?”
I sometimes get in the mindset of, well, if I just work a little bit ahead, I can take Friday afternoon off, have a self-care night on Saturday, or whatever it may be.
This can actually be very damaging to our productivity, and I’ll tell you why.
Shhhh… here it is…
In case you didn’t realize this, you don’t need to feel guilty for taking half a day off of work.
You don’t need to spend 10 minutes every day wondering if you could’ve been more productive or done more.
You deserve to take time for yourself, family, friends, pets, etc. just because.
Resting so that you can be productive is the #1 way to ensure that you’ll have the energy, stamina and resources to knock out what you need to when it’s time.
When I try to “get ahead” by finishing those last 2 projects or tasks for the week, just so I don’t feel “guilty” taking a few hours for relaxation, it actually makes me more stressed out.
Because the list never ends. There is always more to do. Always.
You aren’t a constant wheel of productivity that just goes, and goes, and goes.
If you have ever been in this mindset (no judgement here, I’ve been there too), it can actually lead us to burnout faster, because we feel bombarded with tasks (even though we are giving ourselves the tasks to complete!!)
Instead of working yourself into the ground, so you “deserve” a day off, set real boundaries for yourself.
Don’t ever feel bad about putting away the laptop and just enjoying some time for yourself.
The work will be there when you get back.
There is no need to plow through it.
I hope this plants a seed inside around the idea that working ahead and trying to be more productive is not always the most beneficial thing for our mental or physical health.
Should I push through...or pause…?
This balancing act is one that many people are constantly attempting to manage in their lives, in all sorts of facets, whether they realize it or not.
For some people like yourself, it might even be a bit baffling that there would even be a choice here…
I mean, afterall, if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone, how will you ever be successful in life?
Well, recently, I finished up a year of intense business training, during which I was working day and night on special projects, audience building, content writing and so forth.
Every free moment was spent pushing to grow my business, return phone calls, manage special projects, lead my team...and all this took place after working full days in the office with clients in my private therapy practice.
And you know what…? At the end of all of this, I needed a break. I started feeling burnt out from the constant driving towards “more” as well as the ongoing pressure inside to produce and create.
Although I am one for challenging myself to grow, what I am also learning as I grow is that sometimes “less is more”.
I mean it folks...it really is.
You know what happens when you continue to push yourself past your internal supports…? You get sick, you get run-down, you lose motivation and sometimes you end up severely burnt out.
Especially if you’re an Intuitive personality type.
Intuitives are wired to work in bursts of energy, with down time in between, pursuing what “strikes your fancy” even if it doesn’t seem to connect with what you were doing previously.
Grinding it out, day after day, over and over might work ok for some tasks and projects, but ultimately what it will do is overstress your system, much like if you were to run a car engine at high speed for an extended amount of time.
There is great wisdom in learning how to discern between pushing through and pausing to rest.
And most of the time, true discernment is not a cognitive practice. It is not a brain activity.
True discernment happens when you learn to slow down, turn inward and reconnect with what you want and need, what will make you happy and satisfied.
And it is impossible to determine this when you’re moving so quickly you barely see anything speeding by.
Evolvement is a balancing act between growing and resting. Sometimes, choosing to step off the corporate ladder of success is actually the most productive thing you can do for yourself and your business.
No matter whether you’re a business leader, an entrepreneur, a parent or just someone who strives to live a balanced life, rest and play is an integral part of success as work.
You know what many people’s biggest regrets are at the end of their lives? It’s not that they didn’t make enough money or have enough “stuff”... it’s that they missed out on all the little moments that make up a life.
Don’t let that be you. If you struggle to find time to relax and rest, it might be time for you to explore that more deeply.
I promise you that that dilemma is the very thing that is getting in your way of getting where you want to be in your business or life.
Kate is an INFJ-3 on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and Enneagram.