I often say that how we care about others is closer to the kind of emotional care and support that we needed in our lives as children. And the ways that we care about and give ourselves attention around the very same kinds of issues, is much closer to the kind of emotional support that we received when we were small.
Interesting idea, huh?
I believe that most parents and caregivers want to do the very best that they can, it’s just that they often come up short in their attempts to provide for their children’s emotional needs. Especially if that was not something emphasized in their own childhood.
It’s not a judgement, it’s merely a common occurrence, that sadly, for many people, has a long-standing impact on their ability to find satisfaction in their lives and relationships.
Remember: perception is reality.
It doesn’t really matter whether or not a parent wants to show up emotionally for their child; what matters most is whether or not they are open and connected enough to their child to make sure their child feels supported.
So that when their child is not getting what they need, the parent / caregiver is open enough to receiving that feedback and adjusting accordingly.
That’s what matters.
So for those of you who would like to know more about this, I have an experiment that I’d like for you to try that will help you learn more about how it felt to be emotionally supported in your childhood.
Remember, there’s no “right or wrong” way to live an experiment. The whole purpose of an experiment or challenge is to have an experience and learn something about yourself in the process.
For this experiment, here are the steps:
Kate is an INFJ-3 on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and Enneagram.