Does your mind constantly run about work? Are you always going through a mental checklist of what you still have to complete? Would you call yourself a workaholic?
Being a small business owner or entrepreneur, often requires putting a lot of time, energy and sweat into running the show. In fact, sometimes it can feel like that’s all you do: your business runs your life and has taken over your identity.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, I mean, hey, you’re proud of what you do and you want to see it grow and thrive. Right?
But when it starts to become worrisome, is when you begin to lose your work/life balance.
When you talk about having a work/life balance, what you are actually talking about is the interaction of your Myers Briggs and Enneagram Types.
This interplay reflects how your true self/MBTI type interacts peacefully or not so peacefully with your defensive structure/Enneagram type.
When you operate primarily from your defensive structure (Enneagram type) it is very difficult to have balance in your life. This looks a lot like “workaholism”. You know, you end up sacrificing things like self-care and family time in lieu of work.
When the work/life balance is tipped in your life, it often means your defense is running the show far more than your true self. When this happens, you’re always going to be off-balance emotionally and quite likely, stressed out.
The unfortunate truth is you can’t be in both systems at the same time. You can’t be in your MBTI type and be fully supportive and make time for family, friends, and wellness, as well as be in your work system/Enneagram type.
Although you might take time off on the weekend, if you are still thinking about work and everything that you have to do, you are not fully present in your “life.”
When operating out of your defense system, it is hard to be mindfulness and intentionality go out the window. It’s also quite difficult to stay in the moment.
Bottom line is that when your stress is up, it is hard to turn your Enneagram or your work-self off.
It is possible for you to achieve the work/life balance you are looking for, even if you would classify yourself as a workaholic.
The secret to finding the balance is taking care of business on the inside.
Diving deep inward to understand where your locus of control typically gets managed, by your heart or your defense system, is the key to learning how to fundamentally shift from survival mode back into thriving mode.
And here’s the catch though: this process is not a cognitive decision. You can certainly develop habits that will help you make the switch to find balance, but without dealing with the underlying issues, you cannot achieve the balance.
It’s really not about habits and making better time management decisions. Those are fine first level change for short term goals.
If you truly want to invest in finding a way to sustainably create balance in your life, you have to do this deeper level work and reflection.
Let’s schedule a time to talk today about where you spend most of your time and energy in either your MBTI or your Enneagram and how you’d like your life to be different. Together, we can work to achieve the balance that you desire.
Here's To Your Success,
Kate is an INFJ-3 on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and Enneagram.